Today we are going to tackle those really hard messes - messes made on purpose by your toddler to elicit a response from you.
Making messes on purpose - knocking things over as part of a tantrum
As your little toddler grows, his need for independence grows as well. He begins to test his boundaries and develop a will of his own. Then one day, you will want him to do something, such as put his socks on, and if your child really doesn't want to he may say more than just no. Toys, books, or food may end up on the floor. For your part, it is important to let your child know that that behavior is not okay and the best way to show that is through modeling the type of emotional reaction you want to see. If you have an even bigger reaction than your child's, then whatever you talk to him about will be pointless. Take a deep breathe and create a conversation by giving him a chance to define his emotions and put reason to his actions, even if you have to fill in the words. For example: "Why did you knock the toys on the floor?" "Is it because you were angry because you are not ready to put your socks on yet?" "It's okay to be angry, but it's not okay to knock over your toys because it could break them. Next, time if you are not quite ready to put on your socks, tell me "one minute." If your child is not open for a conversation, let him have a moment to himself, but don't let him move onto something else before talking about it. After talking, have him pick everything that was knocked over and then ask him if he would like to put his socks on now or in a minute. Giving your child even a few moments difference if he wants puts him in control while still achieving your goal of putting on socks.
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